


and who will give me comfort when it’s cold?

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Chronic Hero Syndrome, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I Will Defend Poe Dameron Even If No One Else Does, M/M, Protective Ben Solo, drug references, guilty Poe Dameron, the atoner, vicarious trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25525621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben comforts Poe after a mission.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: Darkpilot Creator Breakdown





	and who will give me comfort when it’s cold?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slinden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slinden/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For slinden, who needed it. Title from “Flowers For A Ghost” by Thriving Ivory.

“The mission...”

Poe told him about the mission in Ben’s hut that night. In a way, Ben didn’t have to hear words; he could see flashes (blood and machines and screaming) and that was bad enough. And Poe...

There were times when Ben would look at Poe, and he would seem almost angelic in his beauty, in his compassion for just about everyone. He was still breathtakingly beautiful, of course, and had a heart so big that the whole galaxy could fit in there, but he was only sentient too. 

He had seen things no one ought to see.

”I’m sorry,” Ben said. “I really am.”

”You didn’t cause it.”

”Doesn’t mean I can’t apologize.” Ben took a deep breath. “You deserve better than this.”

”I’m doing this to protect people.” The way Poe sounded, though, it sounded like he was inches away from cracking. Falling apart, and Ben having to put him together.

”Don’t you count?”

”I’m just a soldier.”

”Not to me.”

Poe looked at him. Ben could tell that he was coiled, preparing himself. 

Ben continued. “Poe...I know I sound hard on you. I don’t mean to. I just worry for you."

”I’ll be fine.”

”Even people who can take care of themselves need help once in a while.”

”Yeah.” Then, “Ben, sometimes I wonder if you think too much of me.”

”No such thing. You’re a good man.” Then, "I love you. You’re so stanging worthy of love, so very loved. And I wish I could put myself between you and the pain.”

”I want to quit,” Poe said. “But I can’t. These people need me. How can I in good conscience just ignore them?”

And Ben — not for the first time, he loved Poe for it. That selflessness and devotion. He loved Poe, because Poe would love someone he barely met. Not in that flirty way, but in that way that suggested he’d move the stars for them. How could he in good conscience ignore them — of course he would say that, and Ben loved him for it as much as he feared for him. 

He hugged Poe. Buried his face in his neck, smelled the faint scent of battle that clung to his skin. 

”I wish others could see you as I do,” Ben said. ”How kind. How perfect.”

***

He took care of Poe. Stuff like rubbing out the tension in his shoulders wouldn’t bring back the dead, but it was a start to helping him.

”That feels better.” Poe sighed in relief even as he spoke. “At least physically.”

”No problem. You love so many people, but you don’t love yourself.”

Poe turned towards Ben. “Does it matter?"

”It does,” Ben said. “You’re in pain. And...and it hurts how you think so little of yourself. How you just...strive to atone.”

”The Force tell you that?”

”It doesn’t take a telepath to know that you’re trying to make up for something.”

Poe faltered. Then, “I just feel so stupid. Delia said that we were helping people. But now I’m wondering how many people I good as killed by giving them the spice. I’m good as a murderer, Ben.”

"You didn’t know.” That Ben was certain of. “Poe...any death is tragic. I know that. But it wasn’t your fault you were manipulated. Delia tricked you. You can’t just blame yourself for something you were manipulated into.”

And even saying all this, Ben wondered if he was right. If he was doing a good job comforting Poe. 

”That’s why I’m doing this. Pushing myself so hard. To make up for what I did. And because I can’t just leave other people to their fates.”

The mention made Ben feel like splinters were rising up in his chest. Like anger was threatening to break free — not at Poe, but for him, what that woman put him through. 

”You don’t need to atone for anything,” Ben said. “I love you, Poe. I love you more than anything. I wish there was more I could do.”

”You’re doing enough.”

***

Sometimes Ben was the big spoon, sometimes the little spoon. In this case, he felt like he had to be the big spoon tonight. He swore he would give and give until he broke, just to make sure Poe was happy. Even feeling Poe in his arms, he couldn’t help but think of shielding him from the cold, from the pain outside. 

”You feel like a furnace,” Poe joked even as he snuggled against Ben. 

”I guess it’s fitting. I’m keeping you warm." 

Poe snorted. “I swear a slight breeze could blow you over, Ben.”

”Guilty.” Then, "You don’t have to be perfect, Poe. You just have to heal from what happened to you. You just have to get better. And you’ll go on to do amazing things, and Delia...she’ll just be an asterisk in your history. A thing of the past.”

”You think so?”

”If I wanted it to be, would it be so?”

Poe snorted again. "I’ll try, Ben. It won’t be easy, not hating myself.”

”Think of me then,” Ben said. “Think of your dad, Uncle Lulo...everyone who cares about you. Trust in them, if not yourself.”

”You do too much for me, Ben.”

”I’d do anything for you.”

 _I’d fight away your fears myself if I could._


End file.
